What????????

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. So I have opted mainly for laughing.

We had an unexpected call from Birmingham adoption services this morning. They had rung to remind us that our lodgers haven't had a CRB check yet. And to tell us that they can't proceed any further until that has happened. So I explained again that we are trying to move things forward, but actually it's quite difficult for them to get the time off work to come. It's a long way for something that isn't going to benefit them at all.

And then... I know I shouldn't have.... But I couldn't resist making the suggestion... Common sense overwhelmed me... "Given that you need to send a social worker to do the initial visit anyway, would it not make sense for them to do the CRB check with the lodgers whilst they are here? That way we get it done, and the lodgers don't have to make a 3 hour round trip." This moment of unrestrained logic won me a conversation with her manager.

"I can't possibly have my screening staff conducting CRB checks as well as screening. It would take them longer."
UH???
"No it wouldn't."
"Yes it would! CRB checks can take up to an hour!!"
"But you will have to do that, whether it's in Birmingham or in our house. In total, it won't take any longer."
"I can't have my screening staff doing CRB checks just because 2 young people can't get themselves here to do a CRB check."

And then.....

"I notice from your form that you live in Stoke on Trent. I need to tell you now that we may not be able to accept your application because you're out of our area."

WHATTTTT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????????????

"But you've known where we live from the beginning. You've known for weeks. We've been to Birmingham twice."
"Well I don't know why you weren't told before. And it's only fair of me to tell you now."

The mind boggles.

"Not only were we not told there might be a problem, we were positively encouraged to apply. We were sold the benefits of applying with Birmingham. At the information meeting we were told that people come from far and wide to adopt with Birmingham, because it's the biggest service in the country with the most expertise."

Spoke to the lodgers. They have rung Birmingham to find out when they can go and do the CRB check. They are available on the 2nd May, because they're travelling through Birmingham. It would be perfect. The agency couldn't tell them whether they would be able to go on the 2nd.

So I rang them back. Slightly cross that we'd been given an earful about our lodgers getting a CRB check when they have been making attempts to make it happen and have met with unhelpfulness.

"They were given the right information. We haven't decided if we're opening on the 2nd May yet. "

Give me strength!

There are to be discussions with a higher manager. They will tell us on Tuesday whether they are prepared to proceed with our application or not. And, if they are, whether they are opening on the 2nd May or not.

Is this normal?

Squeaky Clean!

We've had our CRB (Criminal Records Bureau) checks back. It's official! We are not criminals!!
We're still waiting for the lodgers to get round to having their checks done, so that we can move on with the process. Tricky really. On the one hand, it's a huge ask - particularly as they have to go to Birmingham to have it done. On the other hand, they have said that they would. And it would be really good to be able to move on with the process.

Ho humm.....

The Man With No Trousers

He is Risen! Happy Easter!

Just before Easter, my friend Marg sent me a meditation from a Good Friday sermon. It's from a book of sermons by a lady who is an Episcopalian minister in New York. She did tell me the name of the author, but I've forgotten. It's wonderful. Here's a snippet...

"During the Persian Gulf War, one of the New Yorker writers was reminded of an incident described by George Orwell during the Spanish civil War. Orwell wrote from the front lines that he saw a man from the opposing, fascist, forces jump out of the trench and run along the parapet in full view, presumably carrying a message to an officer. He had notheing on but a pair of ill-fitting trousers, which he held up with one hand as he ran. Orwell wrote, "I refrained from shooting him....I had come there to shoot at fascists, but a man who is holding up his trousers isnt' a fascist, he is visibly a fellow creature, similar to yourself, and you don't feel like shooting him."

When God looks at us, he does not see titles, bank accounts, club memberships, vacation homes, net worth. He sess frail, vulnerable creatures trying to cover up our spiritual nakendness. Whe Jesus came down from heaven to live among us, he lived among us at that level. The Son of God gave up all his divine perogatives and caome into the world to be a fellow creature with us in our deepest need. We were God's enemies, deserving of death; but he looked at us trying to hold up our trousers with one hand and declared that we were not enemies but friends.

And, Isaiah continues, 'The Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all'. As Jesus went to the Cross, even his trousers were taken away from him. He was denied even this last shred of decency. He enters the world of dereliction and disgrace, the man with no trousers and he does it for the love of his enemies - that is to say, he does it for love of us."

sun shine

We're just back from a lovely holiday with friends in Dorset, and the sun is shining here. I will have to go and feed the ducks on the canal before it gets cold and dark.

We're working hard to raise money for our trip to Africa in the summer, and to finalise arrangements. We want to go to Uganda, South Africa and Mozambique, to do work with kids. It looks as if organising transport within Africa is going to be something of a challenge. I don't think Easy Jet cover it....!

The lodgers haven't had their CRB checks yet. Interestingly, though, we had a letter from Birmingham to apologise for not allocating us a social worker yet for a screening visit, but saying they'll do it as soon as possible. I can only guess there's been a clerical error and we've slipped through without the CRB checks for the lodgers. It would be fun to actually benefit from a clerical error!!! I suspect they will realise their mistake soon.

I have decided to chill out about the adoption thing until we're back from Africa. There's loads to do before we go and although I would have liked to have got further on our adoption journey before we leave for the summer, it's probably not worth the emotional energy needed to chase things up. I will therefore let the wheels of bureaucracy trundle. If anything progresses before we leave, that's great, if not, we'll just pick things up when we get back.

Right. Off to feed some ducks!

God bless the lodgers!!

Preaching went really well on Sunday morning. Managed to put a sermon together once I stopped trying to feel up beat and Christian, and just wrote from the place I was at.

Stayed and had lunch with Marg, the minister from the church I was visitting. It was just so good to get away from everything, and Marg is just wonderful. Really helped me get some perspective back.

Decided yesterday to ask the lodgers if they would mind going to Birmingham to have a CRB check. Having reflected, I thought actually, Andy and I would be more than happy to go and do a CRB check if someone was in our position and needed us to. So despite the fact that it felt like an outrageous request, we asked anyway. And they are more than happy to help out. Bless them!

CRB Checking and Other Lunacy - A Rant.

Back in Birmingham again on Friday afternoon. The traffic along the M6 is truly horrid on a Friday, so it wasn't nearly as quiet a journey this time. We were both working in the morning and we decided to carry on south after our appointment to see my parents. Dad is in hospital having just had a hip operation. He really doesn't like hospitals, so this was a big deal for him and I really wanted to go and spend some time with the folks. That meant everything was a bit of a rush, as we needed to find lots of documentation proving that we are who we say we are and that we live where we say we live, and have clean undies etc for Saturday.

It was Julie, the social worker who led the meeting last week, that took our details. We'd taken loads of information, so that was all fine. Then we needed to complete what they call a "resource offer form" which tells them a bit about us and the children we'd like to adopt. It made it all seem very real. We said between 2 and 4 children (I'd really like 3), aged between 2 and 9, though we're pretty flexible about that really.

The spectre of the lodgers needing criminal record bureau (CRB) checks then raised its head again. We explained that although we have people living here temporarily at the moment, they would not be here if we adopted several children (A - there wouldn't be room and B - it simply wouldn't be sensible to have lodgers and new children all in the house at once). Julie said not to worry, she understood what we were saying and we should talk this through with the social worker who does the screening visit. So we left feeling really positive.

Then we got a call today from Julie. She's spoken to her senior. The rules are absolute. They will not proceed any further with the process unless either the lodgers are CRB checked or they move out. And CRB checking has to happen in Birmingham. Which is at least a 3 hour round trip. This just feels like a ridiculous request to have to make of someone. Particularly at this stage when we don't even know if Andy will pass the medical yet. I have suggested to Julie that we should get this done first. She's going to get back to me. Something tells me the system is unlikely to be flexible.

We'd thought things out. Have lodgers this year, to help raise some money so we can go to Africa in the summer and work with kids. Start the adoption process now, and finish it in the autumn. When we know whether we are approved as adopters or not, we can re-mould our home to make it ready for our family (or not). I really don't mind WHAT we have to do at that point. But they haven't even screened us to see if they will accept us as adoptive APPLICANTS yet. We're not even approved to be assessed. We are months and months away from anything being decided.

So either we put everything on hold until after Africa, or we ask the lodgers to go to Birmingham to fill in the forms to complete a police check for no reason except that it is the next box on the flow chart for Birmingham adoption agency, or we ask them to move out.

I hate mindless processes. I detest that disempowering feeling of being steamrollered by systems that have absolutely nothing to do with the real job in hand. I remember the time when Andy was in hospital, and had missed a round of painkillers because he was seeing someone somewhere else in the hospital and then the nurse wouldn't give him any because his drug chart was elsewhere in the building. It was about a 5 minute walk to fetch it. My husband was in lots of pain. But he didn't get his medication. The system of drug administration wouldn't allow it.

I know we'll get some perspective back and make a decision in a couple of days, but right now I am really really upset. And I'm preaching tomorrow morning. I still need to prepare. Help!!

Meeting in Birmingham

We went for our meeting in Birmingham on Saturday. There were about 4 other couples there. We watched a DVD about Birmingham adoption service and then the social worker who led the meeting talked us through the process. There was no new information really and I'd already watched the DVD because they sent a copy in the post. It was still good to meet other people intent on walking the same path as us.

There was one couple who were starting the approval process again with Birmingham. They were approved with Barnardos about 2 1/2 years ago, but have still not been matched with a child. How frustrating must that be... It makes me think that Birmingham might be a good idea just because they have so many children waiting for adoption. About 150 at any one time, apparently.

Inevitably, there were details of children waiting for adoption. There were 2 groups of 3 siblings that really caught my eye. And tugged at my heart strings. A mix of boys and girls in each case. The other thing that really moved me was hearing about teenagers who have been in care and then become pregnant and are unable to cope.

I came away more certain about wanting to adopt and more sure that I have no idea what we're letting ourselves into!