I had been about to take panel in our stride this time round. A necessary process, but not particularly irksome. Assuming that we would be matched with the boys at panel, I wasn't really that bothered. But then we got a slightly panicked phone call from our social worker on Monday "Just to let us know" that the chair of panel was concerned about Andy's smoking and had spoken to the head of children's services about it.
And suddenly it was terrifying....
Having been to panel with our social worker before, we were somewhat pre-warned. Last time, she was really anxious and spent the time we were waiting to go into panel, doing a very stressy high speed 'what to say in panel' pep talk.
So we took our lap top and a copy of the Pim and Bibble DVD, which we knew she wouldn't have seen, because it went to the boys social worker, James, who works in a different office in a different town. When we arrived, Chris and James were both already there. On cue, Chris, immediately began talking about panel and the smoking issue.
"Right," I said, "we've brought distraction techniques! We thought you'd like to see the DVD. And we've made introductory books for the children to show you..."
Chris agreed that she wanted to see the DVD. She thought it was great and requested a copy to show her colleagues on the grounds that they should get to see it as all James' colleagues had seen it.
Panel was running an hour late. So there was plenty of time to chat before we went in. We mainly managed to steer the conversation away from panel and smoking. At one point, two of James' colleagues popped their heads round the door to report that panel was 'in a good mood today'. James introduced us. "Of course!" his colleague responded, "Pim and Bibble!!"
Panel was fine in the end. To my surprise, the smoking issue barely came up. I had both barrels loaded with lots of very passionate, well thought out arguments which I didn't need to use in the end.
Probably just as well.
The social workers went in before us and Chris told us afterwards that she had really laid into them about the fact that this is a good match and there are no perfect parents. "I told them there are risks and vulnerabilities in every placement and this one is no different. I told them how much you have to offer and what a good match this is.." It evidently did the trick. I got the distinct impression, when it came to it, that the reason they asked about the smoking was because it was on the list of questions they'd decided to ask rather than because they were worried about it.
It's done now! Hooray!
So we took our lap top and a copy of the Pim and Bibble DVD, which we knew she wouldn't have seen, because it went to the boys social worker, James, who works in a different office in a different town. When we arrived, Chris and James were both already there. On cue, Chris, immediately began talking about panel and the smoking issue.
"Right," I said, "we've brought distraction techniques! We thought you'd like to see the DVD. And we've made introductory books for the children to show you..."
Chris agreed that she wanted to see the DVD. She thought it was great and requested a copy to show her colleagues on the grounds that they should get to see it as all James' colleagues had seen it.
Panel was running an hour late. So there was plenty of time to chat before we went in. We mainly managed to steer the conversation away from panel and smoking. At one point, two of James' colleagues popped their heads round the door to report that panel was 'in a good mood today'. James introduced us. "Of course!" his colleague responded, "Pim and Bibble!!"
Panel was fine in the end. To my surprise, the smoking issue barely came up. I had both barrels loaded with lots of very passionate, well thought out arguments which I didn't need to use in the end.
Probably just as well.
The social workers went in before us and Chris told us afterwards that she had really laid into them about the fact that this is a good match and there are no perfect parents. "I told them there are risks and vulnerabilities in every placement and this one is no different. I told them how much you have to offer and what a good match this is.." It evidently did the trick. I got the distinct impression, when it came to it, that the reason they asked about the smoking was because it was on the list of questions they'd decided to ask rather than because they were worried about it.
It's done now! Hooray!
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