Preaching went really well on Sunday morning. Managed to put a sermon together once I stopped trying to feel up beat and Christian, and just wrote from the place I was at.
Stayed and had lunch with Marg, the minister from the church I was visitting. It was just so good to get away from everything, and Marg is just wonderful. Really helped me get some perspective back.
Decided yesterday to ask the lodgers if they would mind going to Birmingham to have a CRB check. Having reflected, I thought actually, Andy and I would be more than happy to go and do a CRB check if someone was in our position and needed us to. So despite the fact that it felt like an outrageous request, we asked anyway. And they are more than happy to help out. Bless them!
Tuesday, 10 March 2009
Saturday, 7 March 2009
CRB Checking and Other Lunacy - A Rant.
Back in Birmingham again on Friday afternoon. The traffic along the M6 is truly horrid on a Friday, so it wasn't nearly as quiet a journey this time. We were both working in the morning and we decided to carry on south after our appointment to see my parents. Dad is in hospital having just had a hip operation. He really doesn't like hospitals, so this was a big deal for him and I really wanted to go and spend some time with the folks. That meant everything was a bit of a rush, as we needed to find lots of documentation proving that we are who we say we are and that we live where we say we live, and have clean undies etc for Saturday.
It was Julie, the social worker who led the meeting last week, that took our details. We'd taken loads of information, so that was all fine. Then we needed to complete what they call a "resource offer form" which tells them a bit about us and the children we'd like to adopt. It made it all seem very real. We said between 2 and 4 children (I'd really like 3), aged between 2 and 9, though we're pretty flexible about that really.
The spectre of the lodgers needing criminal record bureau (CRB) checks then raised its head again. We explained that although we have people living here temporarily at the moment, they would not be here if we adopted several children (A - there wouldn't be room and B - it simply wouldn't be sensible to have lodgers and new children all in the house at once). Julie said not to worry, she understood what we were saying and we should talk this through with the social worker who does the screening visit. So we left feeling really positive.
Then we got a call today from Julie. She's spoken to her senior. The rules are absolute. They will not proceed any further with the process unless either the lodgers are CRB checked or they move out. And CRB checking has to happen in Birmingham. Which is at least a 3 hour round trip. This just feels like a ridiculous request to have to make of someone. Particularly at this stage when we don't even know if Andy will pass the medical yet. I have suggested to Julie that we should get this done first. She's going to get back to me. Something tells me the system is unlikely to be flexible.
We'd thought things out. Have lodgers this year, to help raise some money so we can go to Africa in the summer and work with kids. Start the adoption process now, and finish it in the autumn. When we know whether we are approved as adopters or not, we can re-mould our home to make it ready for our family (or not). I really don't mind WHAT we have to do at that point. But they haven't even screened us to see if they will accept us as adoptive APPLICANTS yet. We're not even approved to be assessed. We are months and months away from anything being decided.
So either we put everything on hold until after Africa, or we ask the lodgers to go to Birmingham to fill in the forms to complete a police check for no reason except that it is the next box on the flow chart for Birmingham adoption agency, or we ask them to move out.
I hate mindless processes. I detest that disempowering feeling of being steamrollered by systems that have absolutely nothing to do with the real job in hand. I remember the time when Andy was in hospital, and had missed a round of painkillers because he was seeing someone somewhere else in the hospital and then the nurse wouldn't give him any because his drug chart was elsewhere in the building. It was about a 5 minute walk to fetch it. My husband was in lots of pain. But he didn't get his medication. The system of drug administration wouldn't allow it.
I know we'll get some perspective back and make a decision in a couple of days, but right now I am really really upset. And I'm preaching tomorrow morning. I still need to prepare. Help!!
It was Julie, the social worker who led the meeting last week, that took our details. We'd taken loads of information, so that was all fine. Then we needed to complete what they call a "resource offer form" which tells them a bit about us and the children we'd like to adopt. It made it all seem very real. We said between 2 and 4 children (I'd really like 3), aged between 2 and 9, though we're pretty flexible about that really.
The spectre of the lodgers needing criminal record bureau (CRB) checks then raised its head again. We explained that although we have people living here temporarily at the moment, they would not be here if we adopted several children (A - there wouldn't be room and B - it simply wouldn't be sensible to have lodgers and new children all in the house at once). Julie said not to worry, she understood what we were saying and we should talk this through with the social worker who does the screening visit. So we left feeling really positive.
Then we got a call today from Julie. She's spoken to her senior. The rules are absolute. They will not proceed any further with the process unless either the lodgers are CRB checked or they move out. And CRB checking has to happen in Birmingham. Which is at least a 3 hour round trip. This just feels like a ridiculous request to have to make of someone. Particularly at this stage when we don't even know if Andy will pass the medical yet. I have suggested to Julie that we should get this done first. She's going to get back to me. Something tells me the system is unlikely to be flexible.
We'd thought things out. Have lodgers this year, to help raise some money so we can go to Africa in the summer and work with kids. Start the adoption process now, and finish it in the autumn. When we know whether we are approved as adopters or not, we can re-mould our home to make it ready for our family (or not). I really don't mind WHAT we have to do at that point. But they haven't even screened us to see if they will accept us as adoptive APPLICANTS yet. We're not even approved to be assessed. We are months and months away from anything being decided.
So either we put everything on hold until after Africa, or we ask the lodgers to go to Birmingham to fill in the forms to complete a police check for no reason except that it is the next box on the flow chart for Birmingham adoption agency, or we ask them to move out.
I hate mindless processes. I detest that disempowering feeling of being steamrollered by systems that have absolutely nothing to do with the real job in hand. I remember the time when Andy was in hospital, and had missed a round of painkillers because he was seeing someone somewhere else in the hospital and then the nurse wouldn't give him any because his drug chart was elsewhere in the building. It was about a 5 minute walk to fetch it. My husband was in lots of pain. But he didn't get his medication. The system of drug administration wouldn't allow it.
I know we'll get some perspective back and make a decision in a couple of days, but right now I am really really upset. And I'm preaching tomorrow morning. I still need to prepare. Help!!
Thursday, 5 March 2009
Meeting in Birmingham
We went for our meeting in Birmingham on Saturday. There were about 4 other couples there. We watched a DVD about Birmingham adoption service and then the social worker who led the meeting talked us through the process. There was no new information really and I'd already watched the DVD because they sent a copy in the post. It was still good to meet other people intent on walking the same path as us.
There was one couple who were starting the approval process again with Birmingham. They were approved with Barnardos about 2 1/2 years ago, but have still not been matched with a child. How frustrating must that be... It makes me think that Birmingham might be a good idea just because they have so many children waiting for adoption. About 150 at any one time, apparently.
Inevitably, there were details of children waiting for adoption. There were 2 groups of 3 siblings that really caught my eye. And tugged at my heart strings. A mix of boys and girls in each case. The other thing that really moved me was hearing about teenagers who have been in care and then become pregnant and are unable to cope.
I came away more certain about wanting to adopt and more sure that I have no idea what we're letting ourselves into!
There was one couple who were starting the approval process again with Birmingham. They were approved with Barnardos about 2 1/2 years ago, but have still not been matched with a child. How frustrating must that be... It makes me think that Birmingham might be a good idea just because they have so many children waiting for adoption. About 150 at any one time, apparently.
Inevitably, there were details of children waiting for adoption. There were 2 groups of 3 siblings that really caught my eye. And tugged at my heart strings. A mix of boys and girls in each case. The other thing that really moved me was hearing about teenagers who have been in care and then become pregnant and are unable to cope.
I came away more certain about wanting to adopt and more sure that I have no idea what we're letting ourselves into!
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Excited!
Andy has just organised for us to go to a meeting about adoption in Birmingham. I am really pleased! I had just about run out of energy for this stuff so Andy having some energy to drive things a bit is just great. It will feel real to go down to Birmingham and meet other people starting out on the same path. How exciting!
Monday, 23 February 2009
LLandudno
Andy and I went to the sea side! We had a day off today and decided last night, after church, that we'd like to go to the sea side, so we did. We stayed in a lovely B and B in LLandudno, North Wales. It was so good to get away and have some time together.
We've been reading a book by Heidi Baker. Really challenging. She is a completely amazing woman. Made us realise just how much further there is to go with God... And how poor we are in the west, spiritually.
We've been reading a book by Heidi Baker. Really challenging. She is a completely amazing woman. Made us realise just how much further there is to go with God... And how poor we are in the west, spiritually.
Saturday, 21 February 2009
Nightchurch
Andy and I co-ordinate and lead this mad and exciting thing called Nightchurch. Our church, Church Without Walls, uses a shop unit which is in the city centre in a street between the pubs and the main night clubs in town. It's all cosy with coffee tables and sofas and on a Friday night we open it up as a drop in / sacred space for anybody who wants to come in. We start at 10:30pm and shut between 3 and 4am on a Saturday. The vision is to provide hospitality and to allow God to reach and touch people as we create a safe space in which that can happen.
It is such a huge honour to be invited by God to join in His mission to reach out to people. And it amazes me every time how many people really are spiritually hungry and seeking something more. We don't do pushy evangelism at all. We don't need to. The guests start the conversations about life and God and we just join in. It's fantastic!
Two weeks ago, a girl came along and was really blessed and touched by God. She came along to church the Sunday after and was back again last night. She joined the team for the pre-nightchurch prayers and was simply radiant with God! It was uplifting just to be with her!
We're starting to get quite a crowd of people who know us and keep coming back. There was quite a lot of heated debate yesterday and some really productive discussions as well. Including a couple of conversations with people genuinely searching for God and wanting to know more. And half a dozen people from the Czech Republic who are Christians and like singing about God. One had a fantastic voice!
It is such a huge honour to be invited by God to join in His mission to reach out to people. And it amazes me every time how many people really are spiritually hungry and seeking something more. We don't do pushy evangelism at all. We don't need to. The guests start the conversations about life and God and we just join in. It's fantastic!
Two weeks ago, a girl came along and was really blessed and touched by God. She came along to church the Sunday after and was back again last night. She joined the team for the pre-nightchurch prayers and was simply radiant with God! It was uplifting just to be with her!
We're starting to get quite a crowd of people who know us and keep coming back. There was quite a lot of heated debate yesterday and some really productive discussions as well. Including a couple of conversations with people genuinely searching for God and wanting to know more. And half a dozen people from the Czech Republic who are Christians and like singing about God. One had a fantastic voice!
Marital Unbliss
Andy and I have been so ratty with each other this week. Trying to give up smoking makes him grumpy and causes horrid mood swings, which I recognise instantly as nicotine withdrawal. We will not be allowed to adopt a child under the age of 5 if Andy smokes. The limit was 4 when we started the process. Although we're not wanting a baby, I really don't want to be faced with that sort of age restriction. And it will only be a matter of time, I'm sure, before smokers are not allowed to adopt at all. The fact he's not managing to stay 100% cigarette free makes me feel grumpy/angry/upset/desperate/despairing/depressed/powerless/frustrated/enraged/needing to smash things. All of which I try very hard not to express because it really doesn't help.
The questions about whether or not to go to Africa and Andy's job security being in question and adoption agency frustrations don't help either. All in all the Cowell household has not been pleasant place to be!
The questions about whether or not to go to Africa and Andy's job security being in question and adoption agency frustrations don't help either. All in all the Cowell household has not been pleasant place to be!
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