Andy and I have been so ratty with each other this week. Trying to give up smoking makes him grumpy and causes horrid mood swings, which I recognise instantly as nicotine withdrawal. We will not be allowed to adopt a child under the age of 5 if Andy smokes. The limit was 4 when we started the process. Although we're not wanting a baby, I really don't want to be faced with that sort of age restriction. And it will only be a matter of time, I'm sure, before smokers are not allowed to adopt at all. The fact he's not managing to stay 100% cigarette free makes me feel grumpy/angry/upset/desperate/despairing/depressed/powerless/frustrated/enraged/needing to smash things. All of which I try very hard not to express because it really doesn't help.
The questions about whether or not to go to Africa and Andy's job security being in question and adoption agency frustrations don't help either. All in all the Cowell household has not been pleasant place to be!
One thing I'm thankful for is Chris quitting smoking, this time all on his own. Last time he wasnt ready but this time seems to be easier. It has been 1 month as of yesterday. It sounds like you are having one of those weeks where the stress is greater than the rewards! God will guide you and then you can look back on this as another challange you've over come...
ReplyDeletethinking bout ya today xoxo
Thanks Tricia!
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