This morning, we had a brief window before we needed to drive to the foster carer's home, so I went to the school at the end of the road to get application forms. We've had a couple of gos at trying to sort out school places before. But there has always been information we haven't had, which has made that difficult to do. And social services were not prepared to supply it until the match with A and J was ratified. I was also confident, having met A's teacher yesterday, that getting him into year one is the right thing to do. I had wondered if we should fight for him to do reception again, and start afresh in September. But on balance, I think going into year 1 will be fine.
I also wrote back to Social Services to confirm that "the proposed placement is acceptable" to us, as the letter we received this morning requested. I'm inclined to think it's a little late now, if it isn't...!
I also found out what we need to do get J referred for Speech and Language Therapy. His language is significantly behind for his age.
Meanwhile, Andy did the house work.
And at 1 o'clock, school places applied for, social services written to and kitchen tidied we set off for day 2 of introductions...
Showing posts with label matching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label matching. Show all posts
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
Wednesday, 23 March 2011
Trying to Prepare
Andy and I have been trying to do some things to get ready for when the boys come home. We don't have a date for that yet. It's not actually officially confirmed. We have to go to matching panel for them to decide if we're a good match for the boys and then their recommendation goes to the official decision maker. Then we start introductions.
The thing is, the period of time between us officially knowing that we are approved to be parents to these boys and starting introductions is generally really really short. Like 10 days or so. So it makes sense to get ready now. If we wait we'll be running round like headless chickens.
This is easier said than done, however. We know we'll need car seats. So we went to Mothercare to investigate this whole new world of car safety. "How much do they weigh? How tall are they? We can't recommend a car seat until you can tell us that." I asked the social worker. Who has told me their height and weight in October last year and suggested we 'add a bit to that'.
Social workers suggested we investigate schools. Rang our local school. They tell us this would be an in-year transfer so they wouldn't tell us anything and said we needed to get in touch with the Local Education Authority.
The LEA said they wouldn't talk to us until we'd filled in their forms.
We got the forms.
The forms want to know what school the oldest currently attends.
I asked the social worker.
He won't tell us until the boys have been matched with us.
Ho hum.
I actually don't mind if sorting the school thing out takes a bit of time. The oldest doesn't legally have to start school until September anyway. Though he is at school now. I don't think a bit of time together as a family, getting to know one another and bonding will do any harm at all.
Meanwhile, we're buying beds....
The thing is, the period of time between us officially knowing that we are approved to be parents to these boys and starting introductions is generally really really short. Like 10 days or so. So it makes sense to get ready now. If we wait we'll be running round like headless chickens.
This is easier said than done, however. We know we'll need car seats. So we went to Mothercare to investigate this whole new world of car safety. "How much do they weigh? How tall are they? We can't recommend a car seat until you can tell us that." I asked the social worker. Who has told me their height and weight in October last year and suggested we 'add a bit to that'.
Social workers suggested we investigate schools. Rang our local school. They tell us this would be an in-year transfer so they wouldn't tell us anything and said we needed to get in touch with the Local Education Authority.
The LEA said they wouldn't talk to us until we'd filled in their forms.
We got the forms.
The forms want to know what school the oldest currently attends.
I asked the social worker.
He won't tell us until the boys have been matched with us.
Ho hum.
I actually don't mind if sorting the school thing out takes a bit of time. The oldest doesn't legally have to start school until September anyway. Though he is at school now. I don't think a bit of time together as a family, getting to know one another and bonding will do any harm at all.
Meanwhile, we're buying beds....
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
Meeting the foster carers....
We met the foster carers. Perfectly pleasant people but it was a bizarre experience. Meeting the current carers of your children is slightly surreal.
We needed to know that the boys are right for us. And that includes, for us, knowing that they don't appear to have massive behavioural or learning issues. Of course, nothing is certain and there are no guarantees, but we needed to know that we're not walking naively into a situation we wouldn't be able to handle. Though on reflection that sounds like a pretty good description of becoming a parent!!
I found the meeting really difficult. Not for any particular reason. It just felt odd. And I'd spent several weeks feeling all maternal and broody in a nice kind of way. Meeting the foster carers and being told about some of the problems they've needed to deal with brought me down to earth with a bit of a bump. I found it very hard and wanted 5 minutes out but couldn't quite work out how to ask for it. Andy was fine with the whole thing.
The boys sound great. And we are going ahead.
We needed to know that the boys are right for us. And that includes, for us, knowing that they don't appear to have massive behavioural or learning issues. Of course, nothing is certain and there are no guarantees, but we needed to know that we're not walking naively into a situation we wouldn't be able to handle. Though on reflection that sounds like a pretty good description of becoming a parent!!
I found the meeting really difficult. Not for any particular reason. It just felt odd. And I'd spent several weeks feeling all maternal and broody in a nice kind of way. Meeting the foster carers and being told about some of the problems they've needed to deal with brought me down to earth with a bit of a bump. I found it very hard and wanted 5 minutes out but couldn't quite work out how to ask for it. Andy was fine with the whole thing.
The boys sound great. And we are going ahead.
Saturday, 26 February 2011
Meeting foster carers...
We are meeting the boys' foster carers on Monday! This is very exciting! I have been very excited for days now. Very much looking forward to our boys coming home.
No. We don't have a date. The adoption process is far too convoluted for us to have anything sensible like a date yet!!!! Our social worker and their social worker, have confirmed already that they are happy to proceed. We meet the foster carers on Monday, to find out more about the boys. Then we officially say yes. And then the social workers do a report that goes to a panel that has to ratify the decision. And then that decision is officially ratified by an official decision maker. And then introductions are planned.
The ridiculous thing is that the time from the official official decision being made, to us beginning a 2 week introduction period with boys, by the end of which they will be living with us, is generally really short. It can be as quick as a week or 10 days.
This really means that we have to assume they are coming. Otherwise we would have nothing ready!!!
No. We don't have a date. The adoption process is far too convoluted for us to have anything sensible like a date yet!!!! Our social worker and their social worker, have confirmed already that they are happy to proceed. We meet the foster carers on Monday, to find out more about the boys. Then we officially say yes. And then the social workers do a report that goes to a panel that has to ratify the decision. And then that decision is officially ratified by an official decision maker. And then introductions are planned.
The ridiculous thing is that the time from the official official decision being made, to us beginning a 2 week introduction period with boys, by the end of which they will be living with us, is generally really short. It can be as quick as a week or 10 days.
This really means that we have to assume they are coming. Otherwise we would have nothing ready!!!
Saturday, 29 January 2011
Information, information, information
We've been reading the Child Permanency reports on the two boys we asked for more information about. Each one consists of about 40 pages of stuff. On first reading, it feels like lots and lots of information. All about their parents and their backgrounds, what's happened to them, why they're in care etc etc etc.
On reflection, though, it still leaves quite a lot of questions unanswered.
It's also quite strange, emotionally. Bit of a roller coaster. Given the last 3.5 years, this should come as no surprise, I know!!
We began with the 'cute factor' information and I fell in love.
Now we're beginning to get the detailed, nitty gritty stuff and all the warm feelings have completed evaporated. I still think they could be our kids, but there are some hard questions we need answering and some thinking we need to do that is practical rather than emotional. What can we take on, realistically? What risks are we prepared to take?
On reflection, though, it still leaves quite a lot of questions unanswered.
It's also quite strange, emotionally. Bit of a roller coaster. Given the last 3.5 years, this should come as no surprise, I know!!
We began with the 'cute factor' information and I fell in love.
Now we're beginning to get the detailed, nitty gritty stuff and all the warm feelings have completed evaporated. I still think they could be our kids, but there are some hard questions we need answering and some thinking we need to do that is practical rather than emotional. What can we take on, realistically? What risks are we prepared to take?
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