CRB checks

Our social worker, Barbara, came to see us on Monday evening to complete CRB checks with us. I was expecting it to be a brief meeting, but she stayed for ages and chatted. They've had most of our references back from people and she was evidently quite impressed with what people had written. "People have said how much children enjoy coming here," she told us. She was also very encouraging about the experience that we've had with children. And told us to enjoy the course. It was a really affirming meeting.

It was actually the last time we'll see Barbara in her official capacity. We get passed on to someone else for the home study after the course. We asked how long things would be likely to take from here. She says that the assessment will take around 4 months and that quite often children are identified during the assessment process. Were there sibling groups waiting for adoption in Staffordshire? we asked. "Oh yes, lots." she replied.

Oh my goodness. Whilst this process continues to be pretty unpredictable, it sounds as if we could be nearer to meeting our family than we think. While on the surface, I often find myself questioning our sanity at even considering adopting a group of kids, deep inside I'm hugging a quiet sense of joy and excitement.

Saying goodbye

I said goodbye to my grandfather last Sunday. He was 93 and pretty frail. My sister rang me while we were cooking for guests, last Saturday, to say that he had become very ill and had stopped eating and drinking. So Andy and I drove down to Milton Keynes to see him on Sunday.

If I'm honest, I went because it felt like the right thing to do, rather than because I expected either myself or my grandad to get anything out of my being there. Particularly as my sister said we might not recognise him and he might not recognise us. I wasn't even convinced he was necessarily very close to death. Some of my work over the years has been with very old people and there have been plenty of times when people who were apparently about to die, were still there weeks later.

I can honestly say I have never been more glad to see someone than when I saw my grandfather last Sunday. I'm not sure whether he recognised me. He definitely knew we were there some of the time and he smiled at me several times. But I recognised him. And remembered how special he'd been to me. And how fond I was of him, particularly as a child.

A strange and poignant meeting.

Grandad died at ten past seven on Monday morning.

To my deep sadness, his funeral is a week on Monday, which is the first day of our adoption preparation course. So realistically, we won't be able to go. So last Sunday really was goodbye.

Still excited!

It's just three weeks now until our preparation course.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't know why I'm so excited really. It will be great to meet people in our area who are beginning the same journey. Chatting to a friend on Monday who knows a family that adopted a sibling group of 3 about 18 months ago. She says she'll see if she can arrange for us to meet. That would be great. Although I know quite a few people who have known people that have adopted, I don't know anyone first hand. Following blogs is about as close as I've got.

Plenty busy with work and stuff in the meantime.

Website

I have been working with my husband on a new website for our church. It didn't take that long to develop, but it took an absolute age to get the thing on-line.

FINALLY!!! We've done it. Hooray!

It's here if you'd like a look:

Church Without Walls

Excited!!!!

We just got a form through the post this week, inviting us to an adoption preparation class in February. I sent it back today. I'm really excited!! I'm excited about the course. I'm excited about our friends and family writing and sending off their reference forms.

I know that for many people, all this bureaucratic stuff feels like a nuisance (and it may feel that way to us in a few months time - my patience with paperwork and processes is not great). For me, having spent 2 years waiting for it to start, it really feels wonderful! We are on our way at last!

It's also time to begin to think about what having kids would actually mean for us practically. I have deliberately resisted doing that because Andy's medical history could so easily have meant it wouldn't happen. I really wanted to take one day at a time. To have created the image of a family in my head for it then to be potentially dashed felt unwise. There is enough grief in the whole infertility experience already, without willfully adding to it, thank you very much. So it's only now that, tentatively, I'm starting to think about it.

And I'm really excited!

Please pray for the Ugandan government

I was absolutely appalled to find out about the legislation before the Ugandan government. They are proposing to make life imprisonment the minimum penalty for gay sex and to impose the death sentence in certain cases. Full details in the article here:

www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/nov/29/uganda-death-sentence-gay-sex

This is just wrong. As a follower of Jesus I am outraged and deeply saddened by this bigotry and ignorance. And incensed that people are using Christianity as a justification for such sinister and extreme homophobia. (Yes, I know that happens a lot.)

Please join me in praying that common sense prevails and this legislation gets thrown out.

Filling in forms - fun for all the family!

My parents came to visit this weekend, with one of my sisters and brought the adoption reference forms with them. They had spent some time together answering the questions. Mum said they decided they would do it separately and then exchange ideas. The thought of them sitting down together at the dining room table, answering questions on our behalf, was profoundly supportive. They'd written some really nice stuff about the sort of people we are and how we relate to children. The kind of thing you think about people and don't necessarily always say.

The other thing that was interesting is that they had remembered about things I'd done, in terms of working with kids over the years, that I had completely forgotten about. For several weeks one summer, in the summer holidays from University, for example, I had a job leading a play scheme for children and young people with learning disabilities. And I helped out at Sunday School as a teeenager for several years. Then, as we got talking, we both remembered loads of other things we've done. If we list everything, it comes out as quite a substantial inventory of experience. We've led children's work in Kosovo, visited orphanages in the Ukraine, set up youth groups for churches. I helped on a holiday for children with severe speech and language disorder one year. Andy's work with young offenders and teenagers with behavioural difficulties. Honestly, the list goes on and on.

They had also remembered things that we'd told them, that I wouldn't necessarily have expected them to remember. Like the fact that when our nieces came to stay one time, we put up a tent in the garden and camped out with them.

Mum looked at me and said, "you've got a lot of experience. More than most would have. More than we had when we had you." And I thought, 'yes, we have, actually.'

In fact, the whole thing was profoundly affirming and encouraging. Who'd have thought forms could be fun!