We're back in the UK, after our Africa adventures. Had a great time as well as some hairy moments. I am still nursing a whiplash injury following an encounter with a mountain gorilla - how's that for an interesting injury? And Andy still has a swollen elbow following his encounter with a careless minibus driver in Kampala. I think my injury is more exciting!!
We rang Staffordshire adoption service when we got back. They still haven't got an answer for us from our medicals, which we had done in February. Andy was asking what the timescale would be if we were to pass the medical. They couldn't possibly tell us. Ho hum.
There is a new voluntary adoption agency appeared just down the road from us. Actually it's a re-incarnation of an old agency, called Father Hudson. Father Hudson was a Catholic agency and Catholic adoption agencies over here got into a bit of bother a while back because they were unwilling to consider gay couples. Discrimination on the grounds of sexuality is now specifically outlawed in the UK. So I suspect that's why they disappeared and have re-appeared in a different form. I'm only guessing mind. They now state that they accept applications from (amongst others) 'couples who have a civil partnership.' All their material looks very professional and I had a good conversation with someone. I'm very tempted to jump ship and try them. Andy just looked really tired when I suggested it and said "but we'd have to have a CRB check done again." I pointed out that actually we've only had a CRB check done with Birmingham (not counting the countless ones we've had for various work purposes). But I understand how he feels.
Andy did say the other day that if nothing has happened in a years time, he thinks we should call it quits. And for the first time, I said I agreed. We really can't carry on this waiting for nothing to happen forever. I think something will happen in the next year or so, if this is part of God's plan for us. And when I think of the children we met in Africa, and the times we were tired, and just spending a bit of time with some kids, fired us up again and gave us energy it makes me think we've got something to offer.
Andy fell in love with quite a few kids. Including a 14 year old girl and a 2 year old that Andy kept threatening to take home in his suitcase. And both our hearts were touched by a 17 year old girl we met in Uganda who we would happily have adopted. Then there was the day we were at a church service in South Africa (typical African, very loud and lasts about a week) and Andy got bored. I found him outside at the end, playing with a load of kids he'd befriended. He quite obviously felt much closer to God playing with the kids than he did in church. I know none of this is anything like having full time responsibility for children...
Anyway, we have information from Adoption Focus and I have written a rather pointed letter to Staffordshire, telling them we need to know what's happening and how long things are likely to take. So we'll see. In the meantime we're settling back into life on our home continent and getting on with things. Missing Africa but loving the warm showers and indoor flushing toilets!!!!!
Showing posts with label adoption agencies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption agencies. Show all posts
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Tuesday, 17 February 2009
Agencies
Andy and I have now had our medicals with our lovely GP. Just waiting for the verdict on that from Staffordshire. We've also had some more information from Birmingham, including a DVD about adoption. Andy spoke to someone at work who thinks that Birmingham are really good.
She does fostering for them. They have about 150 children waiting for adoption at any one time, half of whom are part of sibling groups.
Do we stick with Staffs, or do we try somewhere else? I really don't know what to do any more. Birmingham's information seems really good. The person I spoke to, however, was deeply annoying. Although to be fair, that doesn't separate her from anyone else I spoke to at adoption agencies that week! Lots of kids sounds like there's the possibility of a good match. Apparently if we swap, the new agency will probably want its own medical doing.
To have actually completed our medicals feels like a good step forwards. Goodness knows how long Staffs will take to come to a decision, mind. And if we were to start the process with somewhere else, our current medicals would probably have to be re-done anyway. It will be good to get an opinion as to whether we would be seen as fit medically to adopt.
P'raps we'll wait and get the medical back and then decide...
She does fostering for them. They have about 150 children waiting for adoption at any one time, half of whom are part of sibling groups.
Do we stick with Staffs, or do we try somewhere else? I really don't know what to do any more. Birmingham's information seems really good. The person I spoke to, however, was deeply annoying. Although to be fair, that doesn't separate her from anyone else I spoke to at adoption agencies that week! Lots of kids sounds like there's the possibility of a good match. Apparently if we swap, the new agency will probably want its own medical doing.
To have actually completed our medicals feels like a good step forwards. Goodness knows how long Staffs will take to come to a decision, mind. And if we were to start the process with somewhere else, our current medicals would probably have to be re-done anyway. It will be good to get an opinion as to whether we would be seen as fit medically to adopt.
P'raps we'll wait and get the medical back and then decide...
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
Two conversations with adoption agencies today. The first was with Birmingham social services, who I accidentally contacted last week, because barnardos (a charity) gave me their number. Their process seems to have extra bureaucracy. You have to go to a meeting about adoption before having the initial meeting with the social worker, then they want a CRB check to ensure we're not criminals, before we start the training. And there seems to be endless different allocation of social workers. And they would want to do a CRB check on our lodgers.
"The lodgers won't be with us if we have children."
"But they are there now."
"Yes, but if we get approved, we won't have lodgers in the house."
"Because they are there now, we would have to investigate them."
Plus they are in Birmingham, which is about an hour away. On the positive side, they're not short of social workers at present.
Then spoke to the Together Trust again. They sounded really positive last week. The guy I spoke to today doesn't want to do anything at all if we're going to Africa in the summer, until after we come back. Because it "would make the process disjointed". Like it's not already. But he seems to think that once we started the process it would be finished fairly quickly, because they are a small organisation.
I know that in a couple of days (or even hours) I will calm down. But right now I want to throw things. I knew someone once who drove to the top of a large hill when feeling like this and screamed. Perhaps it's worth a try. Spoke to Andy who laughed and said that if I'm frustrated by the red tape now, before we've even started the assessment process, just wait until we do. "You're not even on the road of red tape yet." he said. "THAT'S BECAUSE OF ALL THE RED TAPE. I CAN'T GET TO THE ROAD OF RED TAPE BECAUSE OF ALL THE RED TAPE IN THE WAY." I replied calmly.
Why is it that wanting to provide a home for children who need security and love and to be treated like people involves a process that feels so utterly dehumanising? I'm actually looking forward to the assessment process (yes, I know, famous last words) and the training. I think it ought to be good preparation for us. This wandering around in circles is driving me nuts.
"The lodgers won't be with us if we have children."
"But they are there now."
"Yes, but if we get approved, we won't have lodgers in the house."
"Because they are there now, we would have to investigate them."
Plus they are in Birmingham, which is about an hour away. On the positive side, they're not short of social workers at present.
Then spoke to the Together Trust again. They sounded really positive last week. The guy I spoke to today doesn't want to do anything at all if we're going to Africa in the summer, until after we come back. Because it "would make the process disjointed". Like it's not already. But he seems to think that once we started the process it would be finished fairly quickly, because they are a small organisation.
I know that in a couple of days (or even hours) I will calm down. But right now I want to throw things. I knew someone once who drove to the top of a large hill when feeling like this and screamed. Perhaps it's worth a try. Spoke to Andy who laughed and said that if I'm frustrated by the red tape now, before we've even started the assessment process, just wait until we do. "You're not even on the road of red tape yet." he said. "THAT'S BECAUSE OF ALL THE RED TAPE. I CAN'T GET TO THE ROAD OF RED TAPE BECAUSE OF ALL THE RED TAPE IN THE WAY." I replied calmly.
Why is it that wanting to provide a home for children who need security and love and to be treated like people involves a process that feels so utterly dehumanising? I'm actually looking forward to the assessment process (yes, I know, famous last words) and the training. I think it ought to be good preparation for us. This wandering around in circles is driving me nuts.
Friday, 6 February 2009
Agencies and Eyebrows..
The last 24 hours have been a bit of a roller coaster emotionally. After my conversation with Staffordshire yesterday morning, Andy rang Stoke on Trent and Cheshire authorities. He called me at lunchtime, quite excited, because he'd had a really positive conversation with someone from Stoke. The social worker promised to ring him back later in the afternoon.
By the evening, we'd heard back from Cheshire to say that they won't deal with people who don't live in Cheshire and from Stoke who would be interested, but who wouldn't accept us because of Andy's job. He works with drug users, quite a number of whom have children with child protection issues. They felt there would be a conflict of interests.
Great. So Cheshire won't have us because we don't live in Cheshire and Stoke won't have us because Andy works in Stoke. Why does this have to be so difficult? And we haven't even got as far as the assessment yet.
My girly pampering evening was lovely. Everyone enjoyed it and we raised about £70 towards our Africa trip. I managed not to talk about adoption all evening. And I had my eyebrows waxed for the first time. Ouch. I'm not sure the pain was worth it really. Now they've been waxed, the fact that one is slightly higher than the other is more noticeable than usual.
By the evening, we'd heard back from Cheshire to say that they won't deal with people who don't live in Cheshire and from Stoke who would be interested, but who wouldn't accept us because of Andy's job. He works with drug users, quite a number of whom have children with child protection issues. They felt there would be a conflict of interests.
Great. So Cheshire won't have us because we don't live in Cheshire and Stoke won't have us because Andy works in Stoke. Why does this have to be so difficult? And we haven't even got as far as the assessment yet.
My girly pampering evening was lovely. Everyone enjoyed it and we raised about £70 towards our Africa trip. I managed not to talk about adoption all evening. And I had my eyebrows waxed for the first time. Ouch. I'm not sure the pain was worth it really. Now they've been waxed, the fact that one is slightly higher than the other is more noticeable than usual.
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Snow and Social Workers
Barbara was as good as her word. Her boss rang me at 10am this morning. "Barbara said you'd like me to explain about the adoption course and the process." Hmm. Not quite what I was expecting.
"My understanding from our conversation yesterday is that Barbara was going to ask you about 2 things. Firstly, whether the medical that I had done a year ago will still be OK or whether I'll need another one and secondly she said that you would be able to confirm for us if we would get a place on the course in June, if we're able to proceed with the process following the medical assessment," I said, spotting myself slipping into managerial mode.
She can't tell us if we'll get a place in June. They will make the decision about who to offer places to on the course in April. I then asked about how many people were waiting and how many places there are. Apparently, there are places for no more than 9 households on the course, there are currently 11 people waiting, some of whom have been waiting since August (I wonder if we count as waiting since now or since last January - didn't ask her that) and they have another 11 households to visit. She doesn't know when the next course would be after June. There is nothing planned at present. They know that it's frustrating, but they see no point in offering courses to people if they have no social worker to follow things up afterwards. Sensible.
The decision now is whether we stick with Staffordshire, or see what other agencies are out there. Stoke is a possible, as is just about any other authority. And there will also be private agencies. I spoke to Andy, who has done some ringing around. Someone from Stoke should be ringing us back later today. They have 34 children awaiting placement apparently. Whether it will be any quicker with them, remains to be seen. We need to get the medical done first and do a bit of shopping around re the agencies.
In the meantime, I'm enjoying the snow, which makes everything look so beautiful. I'm having a girly pampering night later to raise money for our Africa trip. That will be wonderful!
I really ought to pray about all this. Just not sure what to say. Don't think I want to be patient and tell the Lord I trust His timing etc etc... Hmm. That's a good honest start to a prayer. Now I know exactly what to say!
"My understanding from our conversation yesterday is that Barbara was going to ask you about 2 things. Firstly, whether the medical that I had done a year ago will still be OK or whether I'll need another one and secondly she said that you would be able to confirm for us if we would get a place on the course in June, if we're able to proceed with the process following the medical assessment," I said, spotting myself slipping into managerial mode.
She can't tell us if we'll get a place in June. They will make the decision about who to offer places to on the course in April. I then asked about how many people were waiting and how many places there are. Apparently, there are places for no more than 9 households on the course, there are currently 11 people waiting, some of whom have been waiting since August (I wonder if we count as waiting since now or since last January - didn't ask her that) and they have another 11 households to visit. She doesn't know when the next course would be after June. There is nothing planned at present. They know that it's frustrating, but they see no point in offering courses to people if they have no social worker to follow things up afterwards. Sensible.
The decision now is whether we stick with Staffordshire, or see what other agencies are out there. Stoke is a possible, as is just about any other authority. And there will also be private agencies. I spoke to Andy, who has done some ringing around. Someone from Stoke should be ringing us back later today. They have 34 children awaiting placement apparently. Whether it will be any quicker with them, remains to be seen. We need to get the medical done first and do a bit of shopping around re the agencies.
In the meantime, I'm enjoying the snow, which makes everything look so beautiful. I'm having a girly pampering night later to raise money for our Africa trip. That will be wonderful!
I really ought to pray about all this. Just not sure what to say. Don't think I want to be patient and tell the Lord I trust His timing etc etc... Hmm. That's a good honest start to a prayer. Now I know exactly what to say!
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