Things that bring unbridled joy....

Feeding ducks.
Being pulled round the house on duvet with your brother.
A stick that breaks unexpectedly when you lean on it.
Anything you can jump off.
Anything that splashes.
Exploring the tent display at Go Outdoors....

Watching your new sons find joy in the ordinary.

The ironies of child safety equipment.

The first irony is that supervising a small child at the top of the stairs AND trying to open the gate is definitely more dangerous than just supervising the child.

Secondly, there's cupboard locks.  Before the kids arrived, we spent hours fitting safety gates and child locks on all our cupboards and kitchen drawers.  The cutlery drawer is particularly difficult to open because the child safety catch is really stiff.  Andy and I usually have to find a screwdriver or a piece of cutlery in order to open it.

The other day, A demonstrated and explained, in a helpful sort of tone, how to open the cutlery drawer.  "You just have to press this down like this and it opens!"  His fingers are small enough to do the job without the aid of spoon handle or screwdriver.  Somewhat amused, I asked him to show Andy what he'd shown me.  "You just do it like this," he said, "and I can open these too" he continued proudly, opening the cupboards with child locks.

Oh well....

Things I am learning.....

It's a steep learning curve, this parenting lark.  Anyone who knows us will not be surprised to hear that it's the practical stuff, rather than the interacting with kids stuff, that I am finding most taxing.  Things are getting easier though.  Here are a few things that haven't happened for a day or two:

• Cleaning a saucepan that I've burnt food to the bottom of.  (I am a pretty competent cook, but somehow cooking at the same time as having kids in the house is quite tricky for some bizarre reason)
• Putting Js shoes on the wrong feet.
• Putting a nappy on the back to front.
• Moistening a finger for quicker access to a nappy sack and then realising it had poo on it.
• having to rescue the house from complete chaos after the boys have gone to bed. 
• Crawling into bed before 8pm and sleeping 'til morning.

Here are a few things I've learnt:

• Either kids tops have ridiculously small head - holes or J has an abnormally large head. Every time I take a top off I am little concerned I might pull his head off with it.  
• How to put Js shoes on easily - you have to loosen the straps completely and then they just slip on!
• How to cook a simple meal without Andy taking the kids into a different room / county.
• The words to "We're Going on a Bear Hunt" (A's current and only favourite book) off  by heart.

We are beginning to establish a routine.  At the moment, the events in the routine are pretty consistent, but our timing is not exactly military.  Quite often things take a lot longer than we thought they would.  The meal I thought I'd knock up in 50 minutes took over an hour and a half today, for instance.  Yesterday, J and A had both been up ridiculously early, but then J came into our room and fell asleep again with Andy.  And then getting them to breakfast seemed to take forever.  

We are managing three meals a day, however, all sat round the table.  Which the children really enjoy.  The first or second day they were at ours,  A wanted to get down because he thought he'd finished.  We made him stay put until we'd all finished and that has worked really well.  Though it makes me feel a little Victorian.  It means we don't have to be trying to supervise one child in one part of the house, whilst encouraging the other to continue to eat and trying to eat our dinner at the same time.  It also means that he often eats more because he decides he wants a bit more of something.  The imposed three healthy meals a day plus fruit is probably doing Andy and I some good as well!

Day 3

We had the boys' social worker come to visit today.  The boys were very pleased to see him and delighted to show him around the house.  When he arrived, we had been feeding the ducks and Andy was showing oldest son how to climb over the big wooden gate that is in front of the canal tow path just outside our house.  It's one of those proper old fashioned farm style wooden gates.  Perfect for climbing over.

We took them for a long walk this afternoon, so we were all tired by the time we got back.  Just the right amount of tired.  We had a great tea time and evening together.

The great Bath time conquest and other scary things...

J, our youngest son, is a bit scared of a few things.  He loves slides but won't countenance anything that swings.  There are also particular mechanical noises that really frighten him.  We have been working on this by holding him and then going together to find out what the noise is.  Today, it was someone with an electric saw, cutting down a tree across the canal from us.  Safely with Mummy, he waved and giggled at the men cutting the tree down.  But still wanted to sit with me for the next half hour or so.

By far his biggest fear is water.  Mainly of the getting washed in it kind.  When we were at the Foster Carer's home, we saw him having a shower and he was terrified.  Screaming, distressed, terrified.  And he's not a screamy, whingy, child at all.  Showers aren't great for kids, but apparently he wasn't much for baths either.

At our house, he was obviously very nervous of the bath.  Happy to watch the water coming out of the taps, but very resistant to get anywhere near to getting in the bath.   Even when it was dry and he was fully clothed.

So we decided I would go in the bath with him.  Night one, he yelled lots just getting his clothes off.  So I held him and soothed once he was undressed until he calmed down.  Then we got in the bath, and he screamed again, so I held him against me, but out of the water, until he calmed.  And then gradually, safe with Mummy, he discovered the joys of splashing!  Within about 10 minutes, we had a happy, laughing boy, in the bath.

Yesterday, our friend Jill brought round some toys for playing with in the bath, which we tried out in the garden in a bowl of water first.  Both boys love them!   When it came to bath time, J still definitely needed to be very very close to Mummy, but he actually asked to be undressed so he could have his bath.  I can't tell you how delighted I am to have conquered the bath thing!  He can have fun at bath time now!!

Perhaps we'll leave swimming for a few weeks though.....

The Boys are Home!

A and J came home yesterday.  The last few days of introductions were absolutely exhausting.  We were travelling almost an hour on the motorway to collect them, to bring them to ours for the day and then take them back down the motorway so they could sleep at the Foster Carers'.

The kids are really full on.  Needing lots of attention and stimulation.  A is pushing every boundary he spots.  Despite the fact he really quite likes to please.  We are working at being consistent and ensuring there are boundaries whilst still working out what boundaries we think there ought to be.  And working to present a united front.  Fortunately A's attempts at divide and conquer lack finesse at present.  He asks the same question of both us, when we are in clear earshot of each other!!

Last night they got to sleep really well, slept through until about quarter to seven, apart from a brief waking up and screaming moment at half three, which was easily sorted with a cuddle, and then played quietly for about 45 minutes.  I slept really well, except when disturbed by Andy who was alert to every sound and checking on them when he heard noises - such as the neighbours walking about next door!

Great time with the kids at our house this morning!

Now off to Birmingham to retrieve my poorly car......