Today I am pointlessly CROSS

Have been ringing social services this week to find out what's happening. The first person I spoke to said 'your assessment has been put on hold until June.' When I expressed my dismay, she put me on to the manager. (Who I dislike intensely on the basis of the limited evidence of encountering her at the end of the course. When she appeared incredibly officious. And because she returned our application form to us because we filled it in and gave it to them rather than taking it home and posting it).

Pat, the manager, tells me that the delay in the assessment is not until June. It's just until the end of April. So we shouldn't expect to hear anything more until then. (They have a very small team, they are very busy. etc etc etc...)

Oh well. That's OK then.

I resisted expressing my anger and hurt about her insensitive officiousness on the course. I resisted telling her what I thought about her returning our form to us. And I refrained from telling her that all the other things her social workers have to do, and how small her team is, is not my problem. I also didn't tell her that if they DON'T WANT adoptive parents they should just *************ing well tell us so and let us get on with our lives. And I didn't say that if they stopped sending back forms we've already filled in and sending us letters to explain why they're not doing anything, they might just have time to get on with the assessment.

Despite all my restrained-ness, I still sounded cross. And I wasn't polite. Or caring. Or understanding.

Instead I told her that I assumed she was aware that we first enquired in November 2007.

She said she wasn't but that her social worker is busy with some study and with placing children during the Easter Holidays and so we'll have to wait.

I probably sounded like a selfish, pushy individual who doesn't care about the children they are working with.

In most situations I am laid back, reasonable, fairly patient and incredibly understanding of other people's points of view and perspectives. I don't swear about people on the roads whose bad driving inconveniences me and I always try and remember that the fact I've been on hold for 20 minutes doesn't make the person who answers any less entitled to my respect as a fellow human being.

But I appear to be capable of quite frightening levels of anger in response to almost any interaction we have with social services. As I say, I am pointlessly cross. Probably because I feel completely powerless. They will do what they want to do, at the speed they want to do it and no amount of discussion makes any difference to what happens. Which leaves me feeling completely dehumanised. The consequence of which is that I don't feel like treating the social worker at the end of the phone like a human being either.

Hmm.

I am reminded of the sermon on the mount. And that thing Jesus said about treating other people the way you would like to be treated. And I've made a decision. We've got the name of our social worker. I am going to write her a card to say I hope her placements go well over Easter and that we are looking forward to meeting her. And maybe. Just maybe. With the Holy Spirit's help, by the time I've posted it, the words 'best wishes' will actually mean what they say.