Still broody....

Took my sister to a cafe today. Woman sitting near us, out with some friends and her three utterly lovely daughters. Probably aged between 6 and 12. She obviously loved being a Mum and had a very good relationship with her girls.

Thought I was going to cry. Hid behind my newspaper and regained some composure.

Emotions are very funny things. Haven't felt like this since we were in Africa last year and I was surrounded by mozambiquan orphans calling me 'Mama Caterina' and fellow visitors from the UK in their early 20's referring to Andy and I as 'parent figures'. The orphans were endearing (when they weren't on the scrounge). The twenty year olds wanting to call us Mum and Dad was just plain scary.

This particular wave of sadness has caught me completely by surprise. Really genuinely thought I was over all that.

It'll pass. There are worse things in life. Like the state of my kitchen. My sister likes Chinese food, so we've been cooking Chinese tonight. The kitchen looks as if something very dark and terrible has occurred in it. The problem is that my darling husband does not believe that it is possible to have a chinese meal that doesn't involve creating a banquet. This was meant to be simple, but it was inevitably preceeded by a trip to the local chinese supermarket and perusal of the recipe books. Then Andy gets excited by all the possibilities. I like this exuberance and energy and enthusiasm, but it don't half make a mess of the kitchen.

We didn't cook nearly as much as the last time, but we did have prawn crackers, pork dumplings, spare ribs and spring rolls for starters. Followed by pad thai noodles, egg fried rice, scallops with ginger and creme fraiche (not really Chinese, but very nice), and beef with orange and ginger. There was meant to be pork and cashew nut stir fry, but we really couldn't eat any more.

Asked my sister what she liked best. The spring rolls and the egg fried rice. Will bear this in mind for future occasions. Spring rolls and egg fried rice sounds wonderfully simple! She liked making the dumplings though.

Going to bed now. Will sort the kitchen in the morning. Think a small thermo-nuclear device might just do the trick...

BORED now!

Well. My few weeks of contentment at things going slowly seems to have evaporated this evening. Evaporation probably caused by a 'girlie' evening with friends who have got kids / know someone who has adopted etc etc. And by the fact there doesn't seem to be any sign at all of our social worker arranging to see the rest of our referees.

What's really frustrating is that Andy and I have both got time to devote to children at the moment. This would have been an ideal moment to be doing introductions etc. But no.

I've not been frustrated for ages. But I'm frustrated today.

I've not been broody for ages, but I've been broody today.

The being broody I blame on my mother. She had been out to buy a present for someone who has recently had a child. And she'd bought the coolest, cutest little outfit for the young man. And was having a slightly gooey maternal moment herself. I think it's catching.

Telling myself that parenting will be much more about attachment issues than cute outfits. But I can tell I'm not listening.

BORED with being patient and waiting.

Finance form

As of this week, my husband is out of work. The adoption service has been waiting for a financial assessment form from us. We did it this weekend, putting Andy as the main carer and me as the wage earner.

To be honest, I was procrastinating a bit, because I couldn't imagine how we could prove financial stability with just me working. But actually, on paper at least, it looks perfectly possible.

This is good news!

the financial form was typically thorough. They wanted to know everything from how much we spend on groceries each week and what the electricity bill is, to how much we spend on 'beauty treatments' and toiletries. I've never bought a beauty treatment in my life, unless you count hair cuts!!

We went to a party at the weekend and saw an adoption friend and her kids. She was telling us that our authority has got a bit of a glut of kids at the moment and is contacting previous adopters to see if they'd like to apply again for more children. Which sounds sort of hopeful. Don't think our social worker has seen any more of our referees, however.

To be honest, I'm not feeling in any desperate rush. Content for things to happen in their own time. Can't be bothered getting impatient. Played that game before. Actually think Andy is keener than me for things to get moving at the moment