I don't mean "How do you keep occupied?" There's plenty to do! We're going to Africa for 3 months, for starters. I mean, what do you do with all that mix of emotion? Do you try and stay interested in the adoption thing, or do you push it to one side?
We're in another of those adoption process waiting periods. After our brief flurry of activity with Birmingham adoption agency, we're waiting again. This time for Staffordshire to complete medical stuff. It's really difficult to know how to handle this period of time constructively.
Last year, we were in a waiting phase almost all year. That time, waiting for Andy's tests to be completed so that we could proceed with the adoption medical. We'd been through the initial excitement of deciding we wanted to adopt, and then it all got put on hold. I just shoved it all to the back of my mind, on the grounds that it was easier than trying to stay keen and focussed, after all, there was nothing we could do. But then I got really emotionally confused. Did I want to adopt? Really? Could it really be possible that I actually wanted to, if I could so easily not think about it for so long?
Then, when we were at Greenbelt in August, I went to a seminar about adoption and fostering and spent the next 3 hours sobbing my heart out. Completely baffling explosion of emotion. Not terribly easy, but actually, in a bizarre way rather comforting to know that I did still care about it.
So this year, we're kind of back in the same situation again. Still waiting for medical clearance, with no idea how long it will take. This time, I'm staying interested and passionate. But careful not to let myself get too obsessive. Making sure I don't look at the "Be My Parent" website too often (sometimes it's hard to resist).
If / when we become parents, all this waiting will be a distant memory. And, I have a feeling, the traumas of the adoption process will be nothing compared with the challenges of actually being parents. Ha! Bring it on!
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