Filling in forms - fun for all the family!

My parents came to visit this weekend, with one of my sisters and brought the adoption reference forms with them. They had spent some time together answering the questions. Mum said they decided they would do it separately and then exchange ideas. The thought of them sitting down together at the dining room table, answering questions on our behalf, was profoundly supportive. They'd written some really nice stuff about the sort of people we are and how we relate to children. The kind of thing you think about people and don't necessarily always say.

The other thing that was interesting is that they had remembered about things I'd done, in terms of working with kids over the years, that I had completely forgotten about. For several weeks one summer, in the summer holidays from University, for example, I had a job leading a play scheme for children and young people with learning disabilities. And I helped out at Sunday School as a teeenager for several years. Then, as we got talking, we both remembered loads of other things we've done. If we list everything, it comes out as quite a substantial inventory of experience. We've led children's work in Kosovo, visited orphanages in the Ukraine, set up youth groups for churches. I helped on a holiday for children with severe speech and language disorder one year. Andy's work with young offenders and teenagers with behavioural difficulties. Honestly, the list goes on and on.

They had also remembered things that we'd told them, that I wouldn't necessarily have expected them to remember. Like the fact that when our nieces came to stay one time, we put up a tent in the garden and camped out with them.

Mum looked at me and said, "you've got a lot of experience. More than most would have. More than we had when we had you." And I thought, 'yes, we have, actually.'

In fact, the whole thing was profoundly affirming and encouraging. Who'd have thought forms could be fun!

Forms....

Had a phone call from my Mum this week to say that they have received some forms from Staffordshire adoption agency. Quite lengthy apparently (what a surprise!!). This is interesting, as it is now 2 years since we first completed our application form and put down references. I don't actually remember who all the people are who we put as potential referees and they didn't tell us they were about to send out forms!!! I have a feeling one of our referrees is now living in South Africa.

It's so good to know they have started the process of gathering information though. It has been a very very long time coming!

Medical results! Hooray! I think....

It's now just about 2 years since Andy and I first decided to look into adoption and contacted our local agency. This Wednesday, absolutely sick to death of waiting for Staffordshire adoption service to get back to us following the medical Andy had in February, we went and met with an organisation called 'Adoption Focus'. They are a charity. So we sat and had another introductory conversation with an agency.

They have a preparation course running in March, and would expect us to be assessed within 8 months of the end of the course.

Then, would you believe it, we got home from our interview with Adoption Focus to a telephone message from Staffordshire to say that they've had Andy's medical assessed and are happy for us to move onto the next stage of the process! They have a course in February.

Suddenly, after months and months and months of nothing at all, things are looking possible within the next year or so.

Don't know how I feel really. Would have expected to be ecstatic. But we've had a slightly rough time adjusting to being back in the UK after our time in Africa and various other stresses. I wandered round our house the other day realising how completely ignorant we are of what we would be letting ourselves in for if we adopt. Realising just how used to being childless we are. Wondering if this is really such a good thing to do. Wondering how we'd cope. Wondering why we want to do it.

I think it's the shock of moving from a situation where we want to but we can't and it's a nice idea for some time in the future, to one where it's actually on the cards. I don't think we will fail an adoption assessment. We are, at least on paper, pretty reasonable candidates. It's now not likely, but not impossible, that this could be our last Christmas as a couple without kids.

It reminds me of the transition from dating Andy and talking about getting married at some point, to him actually proposing and having to say yes or no. I was really quite shell shocked (he popped the question whilst I was driving the car. We were on the A1M heading south, just north of Ferrybridge. I was in the middle lane.....). It was the moment of going from an idea to a planned reality and I panicked (not enough to crash the car, you'll be glad to hear) at the sudden realness of the situation. On a positive note, I said 'yes' and aside from deciding to follow Jesus, it was the best decision I ever made. We have had a wonderful 11 years. I shudder to think what I would have missed out on, had I said no.